I almost killed Toot's imaginary friend!!

So Saturday me and the two little ones went to the grocery store. We walk out of the house and I can hear Toot mumbling something but I'm really not paying attention. I load up Smiley, get him all buckled in, shut his door and then shut Toots door.

All the sudden she starts SCREAMING her head off. I thought maybe her little fingers got shut in the door. With my heart racing, I open the door real quick and grab her hands. She is still screaming and the tears are flowing as I search her hands. I'm asking over and over, "What's wrong sweety?" rather loudly because she is still screaming. She jerks her hands out of mine, puts them on her hips, and says "You shut the door on Scott!".

Um, excuse me. I did WHAT? Are you freakin serious?

She was pissed at me and I wasn't so happy with her at this point and said "Get over it." and shut the door again.

I walk around, get in, and she asked me so very nicely if Scott could go. I sat there for a minute and then said, "Screw it. Hop in Scott and buckle up."

This is where she explains what is going on. She is Jean Grey and her boyfriend is Scott. I knew immediately what she was talking about because we watch X-Men all the time. For those of you who don't know the X-Men, Jean Grey has the strongest powers but she goes all weird, turns into Phoenix and tries to kill everybody. Scott is Cyclops and Jean Grey's boyfriend.

So then I start messin with her just because I can. I said, "But Jean Grey turns into Phoenix and kills Scott so how is he with us?" Man, that really pissed her off. She said, "I am NOT Phoenix and I did NOT kill Scott." So I said, "OK, so are we in the first or the second movie because in the second they think Jean Grey dies?" I just got a mean stare and decided that maybe I should drop it because I really didn't want her going all Phoenix on me.

By the time we got home, Scott had gotten his own cookies and popsicles. I probably shouldn't have encouraged this behavior seeins how she almost gave me a heart attack but Scott really kept her in line in the store and it was the best she has ever acted in the store.

I think we just might keep him around for a while.

So since we love all things superhero around here, I took this little quiz to see what kind of superhero I would be.

You Would Be a Upstanding Superhero

You are alert and observant. You can see through people easily. You know who's evil and who's good. You need a lot of freedom in your life. You like to do your own thing, and you don't fit into any normal mold. You understand people quite well and often know what others are thinking. Because of this, you can get people to do what you want. You tend to feel apart from the rest of the world. You don't really fit in, and you don't try to! You are a true intellectual. You are thirsty for knowledge, and you are curious about the world.

What Kind of Superhero Would You Be?

Award time

I got an award the other day from ShortMama over at A Family of Shorts! It's the lemon into lemonade award I think. Or, she just knew I was thirsty so she gave me a lemonade stand. I bet I could get the kids to work it over the summer and make tons a money. It gets really hot here.

Either way, thank you very much ShortMama. That was very sweet of you.





As always, there are rules:



1) Put the logo on your blog or post.

2) Nominate at least 10 blogs that show great attitude or gratitude.

3) Link to your nominees within your post.

4) Let the nominees know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

5) Share the love and link to the person from who you received your award.



Well, I'm tired and really feeling lazy so I am just keeping this one all to myself. How else are my kids gonna work it if I give it away.



Ok, I'm done. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Crazy? Ya think?

I was talking with Carrin the other day and we started talking about people getting off by claiming insanity. Like mothers that kill there children for example.

Then later on I read the news and the guy that beheaded the other guy on the Greyhound bus and then started EATING him got off because the courts found him insane. Ya think?! Did they really have to have a trial to figure that shit out? He just has to go to a mental institution for treatment.

Here is my theory.
Any one that murders another person is insane. If they were not insane, they would not have done it. Anyone that hurts or kills children, is insane. Same reason.

I DO NOT THINK THESE PEOPLE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO EVER WALK FREE AGAIN!!!!

With the guy I mentioned, he will be evaluated every year to see if he is sane enough to release WITH NO CRIMINAL RECORD! WTF! He killed a guy and then started EATING him.

This is what I think. If a person is insane and then takes meds and becomes sane AND THEN chooses to quit taking their meds, well then they are CHOOSING to be crazy and do crazy things. They should be held responsible for all their actions.
Just like if I choose to drink a shit load of beer, black out, and then kill someone because I drove drunk, I would go to jail.

Or I could just sue the bar that served me the beer. That shit actually happens. Can you believe that? So stupid. Sorry, getting off track.

I have had my share of mental problems so it's not like I am not sensitive to people with mental disorders. Also, my cousins ex-wife is bi-polar and we were real close at one point. She chooses to not take her meds because she doesn't like the way they make her feel. Well, last time she quit taking them she tried to cut her son out of her own stomach. She knows this and still chooses to not take her meds. So, she is making a conscious choice to be crazy. I think if she does something illegal, she should be held accountable, meds or no meds.

That's my opinion and I can assure you it wont change.

Have a great weekend!

DRINK DRANK DRUNK

There are many types of drunks. Let me break it down for ya.

Happy drunk - This person is just happy to be alive. Laughs at everything and has a good time no matter what happens.

Lovey drunk - This is the drunk that goes around tellin EVERYBODY that they love them OVER AND OVER AND OVER!

Cocky drunk - These are the guys that think they are the shit when drunk. Ya know, grow a foot and all the sudden have mega muscles. Oh ya, and a 10 inch.... One of the most annoying drunks if ya ask me.

Slutty drunk - These are the girls doing keg stands. Hate to admit but I have done one. Or two. But really, who's counting. These drunks are just as annoying as cocky drunks.

Flirty drunk - Not quite as bad as a slutty drunk. Just real friendly.

Sad drunk - These just suck!

Sentimental drunk - These remember all the stupid little sentimental things and dwell on them and cry and then dwell on them some more.

Angry drunk - These are the worst.

There is more but I'm tired of listing them.

Anyway, there is a point to all this.

My mom is a happy drunk. I vaguely remember my mom ever drinking when I was growing up. I remember her drinking at the lake but never anywhere else. That is until I turned 21. Then it was my goal to get her drunk.

On my 21st birthday I went to Billy Bobs in Ft. Worth Texas and hung out with my folks. They are really that cool. We had a ball. Ever since then, she's been a little lush. LOL! Right now she saying "WHAT!" I'm kidding, she is not a lush. BUT, she does have a kegorator in her house that always has a keg in it. Just saying. Also, her and my dad went to Nashville TN one year and I got a call saying that they had just left Coyote Ugly where she had just danced on the bar. I wish I had been there. My mom ROCKS!

Anyway, since my 21st birthday I have seen her drunk and got drunk right along with her. She always says she wasn't the next day but I know better. There is another day I wish soooo bad I had been there to witness what happened.

Her and my dad were out on the boat. Now, they have a pontoon boat with a potty. Well, my dad was making bloody mary's and she was tossin em back I guess. I don't know where the hell I was because my brother in law was there too. We were always either with them or my folks. Anyway, doesn't matter. I get a phone call from my dad and he is laughing his ass off.

I immediately told Benny they were drunk (not the first time I got a phone call like this). Well Mom had decided she needed to pee and I guess this day she was too good for the potty. She grabbed the rails on the boat and proceeded to attempt to pee over the side. Now this was still early spring and she was wearing jeans that are now around her ankles. Guess what happened next.

Yup, she fell in! This is when I get the call. Dad had to call me before helping her out of the water. Sweet, ain't he.

Luckily, she is a very happy drunk and laughed about the whole thing. Well, except the part where her phone got fried. I still laugh just imagining her trying to pull up her jeans in the cold water while drunk. I'd pay good money to see that.



So what kinda drunk are you? I'm a happy, lovey, flirty, sentimental drunk. It all depends on what I am drinking and who I am with.

Have a great weekend.

I'M GETTIN DRUNK!!!!!

Writing Assignment - New Territory

It's Mama Kat time. I looked at the prompts last night and my body was full of cold medicine so I just went to bed early. Wasn't going to do it this week because it really did hurt to think. Then, I woke up at 4 am and was wide awake. So I figured what the hell, might as well.

Here are the prompts this week:

1.) Write a limerick.
2.) Normal is...
3.) Describe a memorable camping experience.
4.) What's the best thing that has happened this week?
5.) Did you have a childhood hideout? Where? Describe it.
6.) Words that hurt me.

So while I am still not in the mood to think, I decide to do the hardest one. Well, the hardest one for me at least. I don't do poems. I hated doing them in school. I never do them when they are one of the prompts. When I read the prompts I said to myself "Self, write a limerick even though you don't know what it is." So I googled it (trust me, I'm not the only one) to see what it was. Low and behold, it's a damn poem.

BUT, I challenged myself and did it anyway. It's pretty cheesy but I think that's the point so here ya go.

There is an old man I call Dad
Use to I made him so mad
But then I met Ben
Who's better than Ken
Now my Dad is so grateful and glad

So there it is in all it's glory.
If I was a bettin' girl, I'd bet I never do a poem again.

Oh wait, I just came up with another one. I'm on a roll I'm tellin' ya!

There is this cute guy with a truck

It seems to never get stuck

Except that one day

So we rolled in the hay

Man he sure knows how to f***

Now head on over to Mama Kat's and read what everyone else had to say.

Another WW but with words!

I am so excited that I had to post another WW but this one has to have words. I'm really not making a habit out of posting twice but I just found something out and had to share.

Meet the newest member of out family. Her name is Adalyn but we call her Addy.

My brother and sister in law have had this beautiful little girl since October and now it is finally official. They just left the courthouse and she is legally all theirs now. She is such a sweet little girl and so happy now that she is in a loving home. I am so excited and happy for my brother!

WOOHOO!!!!!!!!

Worless Wednesday - For real this time!

What an asshole!

Yup, I'm talking about Jason the Bachelor.

I think we all pretty much knew what was going to happen last night but part of me was thinking there was NO way ABC would air that. Boy was I wrong.

There are just a couple of things I want to say on this.

First, That poor girl. I would have hit him. Not for breaking up with me but for doing it the way he did. She must have a lot of self control. Or, she was just in shock.

Second, Melissa said the best line all night and that was when she called him a bastard.

Third, Poor Ty. That kid has met so many woman that he was told would be his step mommy. If you want to do this show, fine, but leave your kids completely out of it. If I was Ty's mom there is no way in hell I would have gone for this. Not just once but TWICE! Come on now. Think of your kids feelings for once!

Forth, Jason is the biggest liar. He kept saying how bad he felt. If he truly felt bad then he would have done it in private. And by private, I mean no cameras.

Fifth, I think what he and ABC did was unacceptable and will never watch the show again. Well, I will tonight but then never again.

And last, Chris Harrison said it took guts for Jason to do what he did. No, it took a real piece of shit to agree to do it on national TV.

OK, I'm done. I wasn't going to post about it but I couldn't help myself.

Oh, one more thing. I thought it would have been AWESOME if Molly said, "No, I don't want to be with the kind of person that would do what you just did to Melissa." But, she didn't. She just made out with him instead. I guess they deserve each other.

OK, now I'm really done.

Southern folks or everybody

OK, so if you have read my blog in the last week, ya know I am a Texan and ya know that I have an accent. Because of my recent experiences, I got to thinking about accents and southern words.



I got to looking at this website and some of the words I didn't know (and still don't believe) were a southern thing. Some are just words I say different because I am a native Texan*. Some are embarrassing but I will still admit to them (I have no shame). Some (on their list, not mine) I have never said and never will.



Here is a list of the words I use a bunch and some I didn't know were "southern". On some I am using my own examples because I didn't like theirs. I'll explain as I go so you don't get lost.




Ain't - v. cont Contraction of "am not." Not really a Southern contribution but usually attributed to them. The problem is not the word, but the use of the word to replace "isn't" and "aren't". I say this all the time. Drives my mom crazy!


Awl - a. Ever damn one. It's really spelled "all". Yes, I do say it like that.


Booger - n. Nose stuffing; a rascal, as in "Come here, you little booger!" That's actually one of my dogs name because when we got him, Benny said "He looks like a little booger".


Britches - n. Pretty much anything worn over the legs: pants, dungarees—trousers. I don't say this much but Benny does all the time.


Cain't - v. aux. Can not. My mom and I say this but she hates the word Ain't. Makes no sense to me.


Catty-corner(ed) - a. Diagonal. One of the words I thought we all used.


Cattywampus - a. Askew, awry; not straight. I actually say caddywhompered but whatever.


Conniption - n. A major fit, total loss of control of one's temper; you pitch a conniption. I don't say this but is one of the words I didn't think was just southern.



Coon - n. (Rac)coon. Syllables preceding the accented one seldom catch the attention of people born below the Mason-Dixon line. I do say this. Just lazy I guess.


Critter - n. Creature, with special preference for animals. That's actually one of my labels I think. Also, I thought everybody said this.


Dawg - n. An animal of the canine persuasion. Yes, I say it like that.


Differnt - a. Not the same, different. I actually say "diffrent".


Doohickey - n. A Southern thingamabob. Another I don't say but thought everybody did. I actually say thingamajig.



Everbody - pro. Not excluding anyone. (The pronouns "everyone", "someone", etc. with "one" instead of "body" are avoided by real Southerners.) Yes, I say "everbody" but type "everybody". Notice how the 'Y' is not in the first one. I also type "everyone" but seldom say it.


Fetch - v. Go, get, and bring back. Another example of clever compacting in the Southern dialects. That can't just be a southern thing!


Fixin - v. aux. Getting ready to: "I'm fixin to leave." Say this ALL the time. Who doesn't?


Fokes - n. People (good ol' boys and girls). Yup, I drop the 'L'. You know, instead of saying folks.


For crying out loud! - Well, I'll be damned! I usually just say "Well, I'll be damned" but sometimes do say the other.


Give out - adj.Exhausted, tard, tuckered out, as coming home from plowing 40 acres plumb give out. Once again, thought everybody said it.


Goodness gracious! - int. An expression of surprise you can use in front of your mother. I say this when the kids do something funny or surprising except I put "Well" in front of it.


Hafta - v. aux. Modal auxiliary indicating obligation. (Must is a word not found in most Southern dialects). Actually, I say "gotta". Ex: I gotta go get some more beer.


Hawg - n. An animal of the porcine persuasion. Guilty of talking this way.


Hissy - n. A minor fit, slight loss of control of one's temper; you pitch a hissy or hissy fit. I say this and still think everybody does but I use it for adults only. Like if Benny is getting pissy over something stupid I say he is throwing a hissy fit. Pisses him off even more which is usually the plan.


Howdy - int. Short for 'howdy do', a common greeting down South. Yup, say this all the time but I say it fast. Not long and drawn out.



Idnit - Isn't it. I'm all over this one.


Lick - n. The smallest amount, whacha might lick up from the bottom of the plate. Ex: He doesn't have a lick of sense.


Liddle-biddy - n. About the same size as a lick, very small. Say it all the time. I never say something is small.


Like-to - adv. Almost, nearly. Ex: I like to busted my ass.


Lord a'mercy! - inter. What you say when thangs get outta control. Don't say this one but put it in here because of the next one.

Lordy, lordy! - int. Something else that works in a bad situation. Yup, this is the one I say a lot.


Mash - v. (1) Push (a button). (2) Squush up, as in "mash 'taters". I don't think this one is just southern either.


Member - v. Remember. Another one I say but I think people say it because of the lazy factor.


No 'count - a. (contraction of 'no-account') Worthless. Ex: You no count son of a bitch! I know I have said that once or twice.


Ornery - a. Mean, hard to get along with. Ok, I KNOW this is nation wide, right?


Pitcher - n. (1) A vessel for holding and pouring sweet tea. (2) A visual representation of something, as a photograph. The "t" is silent. Guilty on both. Theirs said water but I changed it to sweet tea.


Pistol - n. Someone who is unpredictable: "Sarah Lee Got married last night? She's a pistol, I'm a tellin you!" I don't use this much unless the person really earned it.


Plain(a) - a. Somewhat ugly, e.g. "She's a plain girl" Just like using the word "homely", same thing.


Plane (a) - adv. Downright, as in "That's plane stupid". Use it all the time.


Plumb - adv. Completely: "Are you plumb crazy?" All the time.


Pooch (out) - v. Stick out: "Why are ya lips pooched out like that, honey?" Another I figured (figgered) everybody used.


Possum - n. Opossum. Southerners are characteristically uninterested in what comes before the accented syllable of a word. I always thought the 'O' was silent. Idn't?


Puny - a. Weak, sickly. Who doesn't say that?


Reckon - v. Think, figure (figger). Ok, I use it instead of the word guess. Ex: "What are we gonna do today?" "Well, I reckon we'll go to mom's."


Recollect - v. Remember. Thought this was normal everywhere.


Seeins how - v. Since. Use all the time. Ex: Seeins how you are up anyway...


Shore - a. Positive. The real spelling is sure. I use both. Ex: I'll say "You shore are pretty". Or, if someone asks me to do something I will say "Sure thing" instead of just saying yes or ok.


Smack (dab) - a. Precisely, as in "smack dab in the middle." I use this one a lot.


Sorry - a. No good, as in, "Ain't he a sorry scannel?!" I don't know what a scannel is but you get the point.


Sugar - n. As in "Gimme some sugar": affection, a chance to snuggle your neck, huggin' or kissin' or both. I say sugars when talking about kisses. Ex: Give me some sugars! Oh, I also had a dog named Sugar.


Tarnation - An acceptable substitute in the presence of ladies for "damnation". Ex: What in tarnation is that?! I usually just say "what the hell is that" though.


Tater - n. The potato. I love me some taters and onions!


Them - pro. Those. Ex: Where did you get them britches? And yes, I say it a lot.


Toad - v. Past tense of "tell", as in "I toad you so!". I usually drop the 'I' and just say "Toad ya so" with a smirk.


Upside - adv. On the side of. I have explained this one before. I say it daily.


Vetern - n. Somebody who fought in a war and came back home. My daddy is a vetern.


Wadn't it? - Wasn't it. Say it all the time.

Young'n - (See -n) A young thang, a baby. Yup, say it too.


Yousta - adv. An adverb indicating past frequented activity. Ex: I yousta be fat but now I'm not.




Now, I don't usually type this way but I do talk this way.

I love the line in Sweet Home Alabama "Just because I talk slow doesn't mean I'm stupid." except I talk really fast usually. So to me it's "Just because I have a Texan/southern accent doesn't mean I'm stupid."



So how many do you say?


By the way, the spell checker had a field day with this post.




*I didn't mean ALL Texans talk this way, just all the ones I know.

Oh shit! I almost forgot. TMM is doing a giveaway for some sensual massage oil from Eden Fantasys and a $50 gift code to there too. You know you want some so go check it out right now.

BUSY weekend

We had such a busy weekend. It was full of greatness so I thought I'd show ya some pictures.


First, we bought my parents RV. We needed one and they wanted to sell theirs so they can buy a camper. At 8 miles per gallon, they couldn't go far. We wanted a RV but were scared to buy a used one from a stranger. You never know how people treat their stuff but we do know that my dad really takes care of his stuff. We took it camping this weekend to work out all the kinks and to figure out how to work everything. I sure hope the gas prices stay below 2 dollars for a long time!



Saturday night, Little Man had his Blue and Gold Banquet and went from cub scout to boy scout. We are so proud of him. He received about 20 award and stuff for all his hard work. One he got was the polar bear badge. They had to camp out in a tent in weather that was below 32 degrees. Crazy to me but they did it and survived. I'm retarded and didn't take my camera or phone so no pictures. I'm waiting for my ex husband to e-mail me some so that could take a while.



Anyway, here are the pics of the RV and our trip. We went to Caddo State Park. It is sooooo beautiful there. It's also pretty close to home so going to the banquet in the middle of it all wasn't bad.

The outside of the RV

Dad showing Benny how to work stuff

Front of inside

Back of inside

The cypress trees with the spanish moss on Caddo.

More trees, more moss.

The kids loved being on the top bed. Little Man and Toot slept up there and Smiley slept on the table that folds down into a bed.

Smiley being cute.

Smiley naps where he crashes.

Headin' home. That's one happy guy right there!

It was such a great weekend. We got home about 10 last night and we all just fell into bed and passed out.

Friday it was 75 degrees and now its 32 degrees! I'm so ready for spring to be here and stay!