It's almost 3am so....

this could be either really interesting or really stupid. We'll see.

Ever read a blog and they have SO much fucked up shit happen to them daily that you think they have got to be full of shit? Ya, me too. I just want to call Bullshit with every post. But, I continue to read because it's funny to me. BTW, I never leave mean or rude comments because that would just be shitty. Actually, I don't leave any comments because that would just feed their need of attention. So, I blog about them behind their back. Because that is way more mature. lol

I LOVE the show Jackass because I cry from laughing so hard throughout the whole damn show. Seriously. Watched one tonight where Steve-O waxed his body. Well, bikini line, chest and eye brows. I woke up Benny I was laughing so hard. Them fuckers are so stupid and it cracks me up.

Toot was standing on bleachers earlier and some kid knocked her on her head. She actually landed on her head in the floor. She didn't cry but I think it was because she was in such shock. One second standing on her feet, the next second, standing on her head! I was kinda shocked too and the little shit that did it got away. My kids would have apologised over and over. She still got the Frisbee so ha ha!!! And yes, she was fine. As she says "Cowgirls don't cry"! Her song, not mine.

Hummm, what else. Oh ya. I learned something about myself today. I automatically don't like other people named April because there is no way that they can be as cool as me. BUT, after I get to know them...... I still feel the same way. Just kidding. Maybe.

Why are pro choice folks pissed about the new law in Utah? It says that a woman can be charged criminally for aborting/killing the baby inside of her if she does it illegally? I thought they were pro choice, not pro killing babies? And I thought they wanted it LEGAL to kill babies so women WOULDN'T do it illegally. Guess I am wrong. If ya want an abortion, do it the legal way (and early enough so that the pro choice folks can say it wasn't a person) so us tax payers don't have to cover the bill when the guy you paid to beat the shit out of you goes to far and puts you in the hospital. Seriously? This wasn't already a law of some kind? Oh, I guess that should be a woman's choice also. Fuckin stupid.

Think I will get any mean/rude/nasty comments on this post? If so, who really gives a shit? I don't.

Have a great Friday folks. Mine is starting out pretty good so far.

For me? Not so much.

So, how do you feel about plastic surgery? I was all for it FOR ME until I actually had to have a surgery. Now, I can not imagine doing an elective surgery. I wanted a boob lift because as us moms know, kids kill your boobs.

But then I had to have a lump removed from my boob. It hurt. It hurt bad. And it was only a 2 inch incision! I can't even imagine electing to have someone cut even more on me. Sound crazy to me. But.....

I have 2 sister in laws, a good friend, and a BEST friend that have had boob jobs.

2 of those 4 had problems. Bad problems. That's 50%!!!! BUT, ALL said they would do it all over again!!!!! And, the 2 that didn't have problems, you wouldn't know they had a 'boob job' unless they told you because the doc did that good of a job. I wouldn't have known except one I knew before and the other told me. Dude, they are hot with or without them BTW!

I don't get it just because I can't handle pain but I have had big boobs since 6th grade so who am I to judge. And I don't. I get why they want them. They ROCK! But I wont ever 'lift' mine because of the pain of surgery. That is the only reason. If not for the pain, I would be all for it!!!!

What I don't get it is the face lift/botox thing...... I know I have wrinkles (at 28) and I think I have earned every one of them. I don't get the folks that try to look like a Barbie. And I'm not talking about folks with BDI. It's the folks that want to be prettier but yet are already pretty but have lots of money to blow.

Every woman I know that had some kind of fix in my opinion didn't need it. And they didn't think they needed it, but wanted it. I think nothing less or more of them. Some are my sisters, best friends, and some I didn't know how they looked before. And, I think, if it makes you feel better about yourself and you can deal with the pain then go for it!!!! I just want folks to do it for the right reason, for them and not for societies reasons.

If ya want it, go for it but please make sure you have a good doc. You sure as hell don't want to end up looking worse or die! It does happen!!!!

So, how do you feel about it?

Q & A and an award

I have seen a lot of people do the thing where they have folks ask them questions and they answer them. I am still not feeling to great and haven't done anything all week so I figured this would be a good time to through it out there.

So, here is how it will go. You ask me a question and I will answer it. Any question you ask, I promise I will answer it. Then, I will post it when ever I feel like it. It will most likely be sometime this week because Benny is going out of town for the weekend and I really don't have any plans.

Also, a while back I got an award from Amanda and forgot to post about it. Oops! Here it is.

If I remember right, there wasn't any rules (I may be wrong). So, I am just going to keep this one all for myself. Sometimes I am just selfish, I know.

Thanks again Amanda. You rock!

So, lets get those questions pouring in!

Gotta question

Raise your hand if you are against the death penalty.
OK, you can put them down now.

Raise your hand if you are pro-choice.
OK, put them down.

If you raised your hand to both then this question is for you.

Why are you against killing the guilty but for killing the innocent?

Benny asked me how someone could think like that and I couldn't answer him because I just have NO FREAKING CLUE.

Need some help!

Edit at bottom! There is a giveaway you gotta check out!

Yup, root canal Monday. Sounds like fun. I can't wait! Note the sarcasm.

Anywaaay, I got Little Man back finally. It seems like he's been gone forever while I tried to get everyone healthy. So he is home and all is well in our household. I love him so much and missed him like crazy. But, he has a problem and I don't know how to fix it. And that is killing me.

Basically, we have completely different personalities. I have realized Toot is just like me and we can talk forever but with Little Man, it's kinda forced. This makes me sad but I don't know what to do about it.

Here is the problem. There is a kid (we will call him C) at school that is being an ass to him. Little Man really wears his heart on his sleeve and always thinks people are mad at him. If I say "Hey, don't do... whatever he's doing at the time" he always asks if he's in trouble or if I'm mad. EVERYTIME. That drives me crazy. Anyway, back to C. Little Man gets his feelings hurt so easy. I don't know what to say to him about it. C is a little shit but isn't hitting, threatening, or even calling him names. Just being real annoying. He's like that with everyone. I want to tell Little Man to just ignore him and not worry about it but he wont. I have talked to the mother and this kid gets in major trouble for this but keeps doing it. (She is a friend of mine.) I told Little Man that C had a REALLY hard life (biological parents are crack heads) until he was 5 and my friend adopted him (which Little Man already knows all about) and that the kid just doesn't quite know how to treat others and to just ignore him. I guess that was the wrong thing to say too because it didn't seem to help. But when Little Man is mean to Toot or Smiley (for no reason, he's moody) I always ask him "How would you like it if they treated you that way?" That way, he knows everyone is mean sometimes.

When Toot has problems with people being mean, I can just say "Ahh, who needs them. Make another friend that is nice." and it works. She is like me. 'If ya don't like me, go away. I don't need ya.' She blows it off and she's fine. We are so much alike, it kinda scares me. If Toot or Little Man is mean to Smiley, he just walks away and doesn't give it a second thought.

Hubby is the same way. If someone doesn't like him, screw them. Not his loss. But I can't seem to get Little Man to understand this. He wants to please them all and doesn't understand why he can't. I feel so bad for him but don't know how to handle it. I don't know what to say or do to make it better other than what I have already tried. I've said a lot "We can't please everyone and everyone is not going to like us. Some kids are just jerks." I have never told him to 'just get over it'. I am very compassionate and let him vent about it, I just don't know what to say.

So, does anyone have any advise? I know I can't stop C from being such a jerk, I just wish Little Man could handle it.

Edit:

On a happier note, go check out Brandy at Not Your Average Soccer Mom. She has a great blog and is doing her very first giveaway! It is a super cute stocking full of goodies! So go enter now!

I wonder...

Is it bad to want a beer REALLY bad at 2pm on a Thursday? Not that I would. Just wondering.
But just so you know, if I did, I bet it would be OK since I don't have to go anywhere else today. Just saying.

Would you rather...Again

Edited at bottom.

It was obvious you couldn't get enough yesterday (by ALL the comments) so Tattooed Minivan Mom is doing some more today and I am once again participating. I'm loving this because right now, I got kids with snotty noses, bad coughs, puke, and so much more you don't want to know about. Colds on top of a stomach virus is not as much fun as it sounds. Plus, a cat that decided to pee on ALL our pillows. He's so lucky the kids love his stinky butt. I am now the proud owner of brand new pillows. I really needed something to laugh at and this hit the spot. It's been a very long week. Enjoy, and then go check hers and everyone elses out. Or check hers out and then come back and read mine. Either way, I'm good. Here ya go:

17. Jamie: Would you rather walk across hot coals or drive a nail through your foot? (What's with everyone's foot pain fascination?)

I'm going with RUN across hot coals. Don't want anything going through my foot.

18. Magpie: Would you rather have city street water splash on your bare feet (ew ew ew) or lick a shovel from a horse barn? (I had to be a smart ass and ask her if the shovel was brand new. It's not.)

Water on my feet. At least it's on the outside of my body.

19. Heather: Would you rather join a charlie horse orgy or take ten four-year-olds on a field trip to some ancient Indian burial grounds? (Hit the charlie horse orgy link, read the post and my comment for explanation if you're wondering. So much work today!)

4 year olds.

20. AngieDe apparently has way to much time on her hands to think about weird shit: Would you rather have to go pee ALL the time, or have to go pee really bad but never be able to go?

Go pee all the time. It really sucks when you gotta pee but can't.

21. Would you rather drown in Coke or Pepsi?

I guess Coke because I hate Pepsi.

22. Would you rather eat a bar of soap or drink a bottle of dish washing liquid?

Tattooed Minivan Mom had great logic so I'm going with her on the liquid.

23. Would you rather be stranded on an island alone or with someone you hate?

Someone I hate. It would pass the time plotting against them.

24. Angela: Would you rather papercut your eyeball or step on a nail?

Eyeball. Same reason as # 17.

25. Black Betty who knows she's a perv asks: Would you rather receive a golden shower or a roman shower? (I had to ask what the roman shower was. BTW, got the Black Betty song stuck in your head yet?)

I don't know what either is so I refuse to answer. Ok just found out. Ewww! Not getting turned on by either but when I got stung by a jelly fish I would have let Hubby pee on me where the horrable pain was. I didn't know at the time it would have helped.

26. Cyndy, a fellow Dysfunctional Mom wonders: Would you rather lick a frog or drink rusty water?

Depends what kind of frog. Some are pretty trippy to lick, so I hear.

27. Crackwhore, better known as Live.Love.Eat asks a very thought provoking question: As a blogger, would you rather be famous like Dooce and too busy to really connect with bloggers, or not so famous and have connections?

Not famous for sure. Gotta connect.

28. Hula: Would you rather live without water or electricity?

Water. I need electricity. It gets way to hot in Texas to not have AC.

29. Captain Dumbass: Would you rather shave your head with a cheese grater or be audited?

No matter what the other option is I'm probably always going to pick it over anything on my body being ripped to shreds with a cheese grater.

30. My new whacked out friend Sassy would like to throw in: Would you rather drink a gallon of dirty hot dog water OR a shot glass of foot sweat? (Her all-time fave she said. I wonder if she meant the question or the glass of foot sweat?)

That doesn't put a pretty picture in your head. I'm gonna go with hot dog water because foot sweat is just way too nasty.

31. Would you rather loose your 4 front teeth after bouncing your head off a cement curb OR get a paper cut on your eye? (I cracked up at the thought of a head bouncing off a curb. Like a basketball I wonder? I don't know. Never seen it done.)

I've done the first but my head didn't quite 'bounce'. SO.MUCH.PAIN. So I say paper cut in the eye.

32. Would you rather have explosive diarrhea OR uncontrolled vomiting?

Diarrhea. I can't stand to puke. Puking makes me puke.

33. Drama Mama came in on the last minute with this doozy: Would you rather have a Permanent Yeast Infection or Permanent Hemorrhoids?

Hemorrhoids. I would like to be able to have sex again and I can't with a yeast infection. We are learning so much about each other!

34. Ann asked : Would you rather be able to read your husband's mind? Or have him be able to read yours?

Read his. He doesn't even want to know what goes on in my head. He says I think too much. Is that bad or good?

35. Toni asked: Would you rather suffer from incurable baldness, everywhere, or wolfman's disease, everywhere?

Bald. Not shaving my legs all the time would be awesome! And you can buy a wig or a cool hat.

36. Would you rather share your house with a skunk or a porcupine?

I say skunk and have it desented. And I would name him Pepe Le Pew and buy a black and white cat.

37. Betty asked: Would you rather eat opossum roadkill (thats been jacked up) or bambi.

Bambi any day. My SIL cooks awesome deer meat. I think my dad is actually hunting as I type this.


TMM added another after I did this so I had to add it because I thought it was a great question.

38. Thought maybe I should add one of my own...being that it's my blog and all...not to be controversial or anything but purely for thoughts sake: Would you rather be able to say anything you want on your blog and risk offending people and/or losing readers or would you rather keep it edited?

Say what I want. If they don't like it then oh well. Their loss, not mine. I am not going to censor myself on here. That's why I have it. To just let it all out! The only person I actually 'know' that reads this is my Mom and she already knows everything about me, the good, the bad, and the cussing. And she loves me, faults and all.

Now back to cleaning up after sick kids and stupid cats!

Would you rather..

Tattooed Minivan Mom is doing a 'Would you rather..' game and I am joining in. There are some good questions. Go check her out for her answers and everyone else's. Here's mine:

1. Kat wants to know: Would you rather eat a cockroach or a bull nut?

I'm gonna go with cockroach. It seems smaller, but I'm no expert on bull nuts.

2. Brandy wonders: Would you rather not shower for a month or not brush your teeth for a month?

I am going with not brush my teeth for a month because of all the gum out there. There is no gum to cover the stink and filth on your body.

3. April asks: Would you rather....have to have sex everyday for a year straight or go six months without it? Knowing you HAVE to do it everyday VS. the anticipation of what is to cum in 6 months. (Get it? c.u.m. I was gonna post it as c.o.m.e. but that perv April said I HAD to put c.u.m. Sick I tell ya.)

I'm gonna say two things. First, I don't remember the conversation going down like that. :) and Second, 6 months without. I've done the everyday thing (to make a baby) and it became a chore and not so much fun.

4. Ashley wants to know all kinds of good stuff: Would you rather find true love or 1 million dollars?

I'm stealing TMM answer and saying the Million, because I already have true love.

5. Would you rather always have to say everything on your mind or never speak again?

Say everything on my mind. I couldn't handle not talking. Besides, I already say what's on my mind most of the time.

6. Would you rather know it all or have it all?

Have it all. Knowing it ALL would drive me crazy when talking to the less intelligent people.

7. Katie wonders: Would you rather have extremely bad tourettes or uncontrollable orgasms?

I'm gonna go with orgasms. That just sounds fun.

8. Would you rather skip Christmas for a year or skip your birthday for a year?

My birthday. I enjoy Christmas way to much with little ones running around.

9. Heather asks: Would you rather be followed by a cloud of dust or a cloud of gnats?

Dust for sure. I can't stand gnats trying to fly up my nose.

10. Michelle wants to gross you out: Would you rather eat a toenail omelet or a hair sandwich?

Toenail omelet. Choking on hair is awful and I could put a LOT of hot sauce on the omelet.

11. Would you rather lick the discharge from a cats eye or lick the dried spit from the corner of a teachers mouth?

That's just gross either way. I'm gonna go with spit. Discharge= to much yuck!!!!

12. Jennifer wants to know: Would you rather have dinner with the Obamas or go on a date with George Clooney?

The date any day. That was too easy.

13. and as an after thought she wanted to know...Would you rather be paralyzed or blind?

Paralyzed. I couldn't handle not seeing Hubby and the kids faces everyday.

And Jo-Jo cracked me up with this one. She even decided to answer it herself.
14. Jo-Jo said: Would you rather blog or sleep? (Both)

It depends what time I got up that morning. Sometimes blog, sometimes sleep.

15. G from Where's My Angels: Would you rather take a cheese grater to your sunburned back, or pour alcohol in a new hole in your toe:).....(Love the happy face at the end G.)

Alcohol on the toe for sure.

16. Yaya: Would you rather use the woods or a port-o-potty? (her hubby came up w/ that one!)

Woods. I choose that all the time over any public restroom.

So there ya go. Now go check everyone else's out and have a fun Friday!

Tattle Tales and Stinky Butts

How do you deal with a child that is a tattle tale? Toot is the worlds worst and is driving me crazy! This annoying little trait began when she started school. All day I hear "Smiley did ... and Smiley's doing ..." How do I get her to stop?

On a funny note. When Smiley is poopy or when Toot toots, we say they have a stinky butt. Toot always calls Tinker Bell Tinky Bell. Today, Smiley decided to change Tinks name (can you see where I am going with this?) to Tinky Butt. I don't know if he's just trying to be funny or if he is just trying to really piss off Toot but he has been successful at both.

So now all I am hearing (in a very whiny voice) is, "Smiley's calling Tinky Bell Tinky Butt. Tell him to stop."

So in my attempt to stop the whining and her tattling I say, while laughing, "Smiley, don't say Tinky Butt. It's Tinky Bell has a stinky butt."

Smiley ran away while laughing and Toot did not think that was funny at all. I got a very dirty look.

Rules?

The give aways are posted on the post before this (because I like breaking rules).

So apparently there are 'rules' to blogging but I am confused. Not hard to do sometimes.

I read on one blog that said you should post pictures.
Then on another, it said don't. And if you do, let the pictures speak for themselves. Sometimes, there are funny stories behind the pictures. For instance, don't you wish you knew the story behind this:

Then another said, 'keep it short and funny'.
But right after that, I read, 'Tell a story, preferably funny.' Sorry, I'm not a 'writer' and sometimes (ok, a lot) not that funny.

Ads or no ads? When I put AdSense on there, I started getting viruses so I took it off. I don't know how to do anything else.

Private or not? To be or not to be, that is the question.

Kids real names or not? I don't because; 1, there are certain people from my past I DON'T want finding me (and my kids names are unusual. Not like Apple, but easy to find on-line.), and 2, the little names I gave them is actually what we call them.

Don't post more than once in a day. Does it really matter how much I post in that day or should I try and convince you that I can wait until another day to say it? When something funny/crappy/cool happens I think of going to the computer and telling my new friends about it. Is that wrong to post it when it is fresh in my mind?

So confusing!!!

I love going back and reading peoples blogs when they just started (Mama Kat) and seeing the transformation from 1 comment here and there to 50 comments every day. I still don't get how you did that. Any advise is welcome, but if I have to follow strict rules then that takes all the fun out of it. Or at least a lot of it.

*Did I use italics too much?* See? More rules!

I don't know....

shit about potty training. No pun intended! I have successfully potty trained two children but apparently that doesn't mean I know what I am doing.

With Little Man, he was obsessed with Toy Story so I bought Toy Story underwear and threatened to throw them away. After one pair got tossed (then later retrieved) in the trash, he knew I meant business. TaDa! He was potty trained at 26 months.

With Toot, I tried the same trick (with princess/Elmo panties) but it didn't work as well. She didn't care that I would throw them away. She became potty trained at 28 months when SHE was ready.

I don't have the energy to ask 50 million times a day "Do you need to go peepee?" so I don't. I also don't like the wear panties during the day and diapers at night thing. It just seemed it would have confused me when I was 2 so why confuse the kids more than they already are so we waited till they woke up with dry diapers to start the process. And they didn't run around naked and pee everywhere. They either kept their diaper on or wore panties/underwear and tried to make it in time. The nakedness came after potty training was mastered. Thank goodness!

With Smiley, I gotta whole other situation on my hands. He sometimes makes it threw the night completely dry and other nights, not so much. He will not watch TV at all so no cool underwear to obsess over. I know, that's probably a good thing, but not when I need a shower or need to bribe him with cool undies. He loves to be naked and will take his diaper off and pee on the floor/couch/bed/TABLE. He has sat on the "potty" 20 million times and I have never seen him pee in it much less anything else. He only goes and sits on it when I tell him we need to put another diaper on him. Then he's all "I GOTTA GO PEE!!!" and runs to the bathroom. I'm outta ideas. I'm sure this is nothing compared to what we will go threw later on in life with him but I'd like to get this down first.

Any suggestions. I need all the help I can get. I have never used a little potty chair. I just bought the thing you set on the big potty. Do you think it would help for him to have his OWN chair?

HELP PLEASE!!

I'm betting this is brave of me!

I'm gonna ask a question and I am assuming I am brave for asking.

If you believe a woman should only be able to choose to have an abortion if it is rape, incest, likely to kill the mother, or the baby is severely mentally disabled, are you pro-choice or pro-life?

I have always considered myself pro-life but I agree that only in those circumstances should she get to choose.
I was told today that because I feel that way, I am pro-choice. I do not agree with abortion for any other reason. I also do not look at it as a woman's right. Why should I have the right to abort my husbands/boyfriends/one night stands child (in cases of rape/incest, father should have no rights)? Actually, I think Rowe vs Wade is against fathers rights. Just my opinion.

So am I pro-choice or pro-life? Or are these labels just as stupid as other labels?