13 more months!

In 13 months I will be 30 years old. I wonder how my mom will take her baby turning 30? Probably not as good as I will. As I am sure you know, I have 3 kiddos. One of which is 11 years old. Yes, I got pregnant at 16 years old. I made the decision to grow up and keep my child. To me, it wasn't even a choice but that's just how I felt about it. I had another child at 23 and then another at 25. They were planned. I was married and wanted to have children with my husband so it seemed the logical thing to do. But, here is the thing.

I get the weirdest looks and stupidest comments when I tell people I have 3 children. First thing they usually ask is my age and then when I tell them they say, "You're just a baby!". OK, yes, I was a child when I had my first but not with my second and third. But they say that before they even know how old Little Man is. All they hear me say is that I am in my 20's with 3 kids. It's like some people think that people in their 20's can't be mature enough to have children. The crazy thing is that 99% of the time it is women that I get this from. The other day I was at my brother in laws house and a woman asked who Toot and Smiley belonged to. I told her they were mine and she looked shocked and asked how old I was. I told her and she said "2 kids at 28, that must be hard." I then told her that I actually had 3 kids and the oldest was 11. You could see her doing the math in her head and then she said "You poor girl." I said, "WHY? I love my life and wouldn't change a thing about it. It's no harder for me than any other mom of 3". My sis in law could tell I was irritated and stepped in and said "She is one of the best moms I know. Her age doesn't matter."

I know a lot of women nowadays are getting their careers going and then having kids and I see nothing wrong with that at all. Not all women want to do that though. What is wrong with being a mom first? How would they feel if when I found out they were in their 40's with 3 young kids I said "But you're so old"? They would probably call me a bitch.

Yes, I have made mistakes with my kids but who hasn't. I don't think it has anything to with the fact that I am in my 20's. I also have very good kids that respect others and are well behaved. That also doesn't have anything to do with the fact that I am in my 20's.

So, I am looking forward to turning 30. I just think once I can say I am 30 that people will quit giving me weird looks and saying stupid things when they find out I have 3 kids. It's not that I care what they think, I am just tired of dealing with the stupidity.

That's my girl!

When Little Man was an only child, I would always tell him he was my favorite son. He loved it and I would always get some cuddle time. After Toot was born, I would say she was my favorite daughter and he was my favorite son. After Smiley, I quit saying it all together because if I said it to Toot, Little Man expected to hear the same and I just couldn't say that to him anymore.

Well, Toot is a pretty smart cookie and has come up with her own version. She completely knows how to play the males in the house. I have a feeling she will be like that with all the males in her life. She is still trying to work it on me but it doesn't quite work as well.

Anytime she wants something, she will tell the men of the house that they are the BEST big brother/little brother/daddy in the WHOLE world. And it works! EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I just sit back and chuckle to myself. It especially works on Little Man. When she says that, he will give her the moon and stars if that is what she wants. If it is something big that she wants, she throws in a really sweet hug. I'm tellin ya, that girl knows how to work it.

The other day she wanted something and it was cute watching her get it. She told Little Man that he was the best big brother and then just sat there looking at him. He looked confused and said "What?" and she said "Well....". More confusion. The she said "What am I?" and smiled. By the way, she KNOWS he has another little sister. So he said "You are the best little sister in the whole world". She looked at me, smiled and then ran away. She had just won in her mind. Little Man looked at me and I looked at him like he just got played. Then he said "Well, she is."

My heart melted a little and I told him that he was, in fact, the best big brother ever.

Snow, and lots of it!

Yup, we finally got some snow. About 6 to8 inches of snow! The kids loved it and it was so beautiful. It is all completely gone now but was fun while it lasted.

This is the view from upstairs over looking the pasture.

Of course we had to make a snowman. Our dog was glad Benny made a trail for her cold feet!

We aren't really use to getting snow so the kids have a few pair of socks on their hands so they don't get 'snowbite' (Toots word for frostbite).

Think the snowman was thirsty!

Dear family...

Dear Mom,
Thank you so much for everything you have done for me all my life, but what all you have done this month for me really means the world to me. I don't know what I would do without you. I am the luckiest girl to have you as my mom.
Love,
Your VERY grateful daughter


Dear Toot,
PLEASE quit asking me 50 times a day if it is Christmas yet. I know you are excited but dang girl, you are driving me crazy. I promise I will not let Christmas pass without telling you. I also promise that we will make Santa cookies on Christmas so don't worry. I have everything under control.
Love,
Your pinky promising mama

Dear Smiley,
I love the way you are. You are perfect in your own little way. There is just one thing I need from ya. Now I know most parents would love what you haven't been doing but I need a little help. All you have asked for Christmas is a truck and a REAL train. I'm gonna need a little more to work with babe. So, give it some thought and let me know.
Love,
Your mama that is out of ideas

Dear Little Man,
OK kiddo. It's get that it is almost winter break and you are excited. I get that it's almost Christmas and you are excited. And, I get that you are so excited about going to Boy Scout camp right after Christmas. BUT, do ya think you could tone down the attitude a tad. And when I say tad I mean A TON. This arguing with me over EVERYTHING is getting old real quick. And so is talking to me like I am your child. I don't let adults talk to me like that and I sure as heck am not going to let you. So, just go back to your sweet self and all will be well again.
Love,
Your mama that happens to know where she can get some coal

Dear Benny,
Quit stressing. I have everything under control.
Love,
The woman who hopes you are a gullible as your daughter


For more Dear someone letters head on over to ShortMama's place. It's all warm and cozy over there. You'll love it!

Update

Well, It seems Little Man just had a bad cold but then he also got an ear infection. Went to the doc today and got all his meds. Hopefully he will feel better soon but it doesn't look like he will not make it to school at all this week. When a diabetic gets an infection (or has high blood sugar levels very long) his body makes this stuff called ketones. Then that makes him build up acid in his body. VERY bad thing. It could actually put him in a coma if not watched closely and treated. This morning he had moderate amounts of ketones and now we have it down to small amounts. The goal is to get it down to negative. So now I have to make sure his sugar levels stay down and he has to drink 24 oz of water every hour.

To top it all off, Toot and Smiley are now sick too. Seems they caught Little Mans cold. Toot woke up at 5am with 101.1 fever. Smileys was only 99.5. I feel so bad for my babies. I hate it when they are sick.

So now I feel like a nurse with all the meds and scheduling of meds going on. Here is how it goes. Little Man gets ear drops every 4 hours, checks his ketones and blood sugar every 2 hours, antibiotics every 12 hours, water every hour and Tylenol every 6 hours.
Toot gets her meds every 6 hours and Smiley gets his every 4 hours.
And of course none of those fall at the same time.

Hope everyone is having a better week than me and my family. I probably wont be around much because it seems that I have my hands full. Time for Toots meds right now!

Dear....

Dear Dad,

Happy birthday. You really are the best dad I could have ever asked for. Hope you enjoy your banana pudding.

A daddy's girl forever,

April

Dear kids,

Yall have been really good lately. Lets keep that way, ok. Also, if you keep washing the dishes for me, I will buy you and awesome toy this weekend. I promise.

A very grateful woman,

Mama

Dear Sage,

Thank you so much for the award. You are really a great guy and I am glad we have become friends. Love all of our conversations.

Can't wait to talk again,

April tx

Dear Carrin, Amanda, Brandy and Rose,

I am passing this award on to yall. No matter what, yall always leave me a comment and I appreciate it. There are no rules so do what ya want with it.

A grateful blogger,

April

For more letters, head on over to Shortmama's.

New baby!!

Arena, our pregnant horse, is no longer pregnant! She had this cute litte girl the other day. SOOOOO cute and soooooo soft. The kids are so excited!

Dear...

Dear Toot and Smiley,
I understand that watching me clean must be the fun to watch but can you do me one tiny favor? We have company coming tomorrow so if you could just lay off on messing everything up for the next 30 hours, I would be so grateful. It's not that I don't enjoy cleaning up after you, I just have a lot of other stuff to do right now. If you do this for me, I might just go buy you something at the store. But, if that is not good enough, could ya at least pick up your messes yourself?

The woman who is tired of picking up after you,
Mama

Dear God,
If you read the above letter you will see that I have company coming tomorrow. I know you get lots of requests for things but what I want is really just something small. I see in the forecast that it is suppose to rain all weekend (just like it is right now). I had plans to go to the lake this Saturday and would LOVE it if you could just hold off the rain on that day. I'm not asking for all the days to be sunny, just Saturday. We have had tons of rain lately so I don't see where it would hurt anything. If you wont make this happen, I totally understand but it would be nice for Carrin to get to see what all we do down here without the rain.

The woman praying for a little sun,
April

Dear Benny,
Thank you so much for being you. I really love you more than I thought humanly possible. Thank you for running all my errands this week (without bitching) so I could stay home and get the house ready. You really are the best husband I could have asked for.

The woman that loves you with all her heart,
Me

Dear Carrin,
I am so excited for you to come down this weekend. I know you have been so busy and have a lot on your plate so I am glad you can get away from it all to visit me. I am sure even if the kids keep messing up the house and God wont stop the rain, we will still have a blast. As with everything else in my life, we will just play it all by ear and just do whatever comes up. I just hope it doesn't rain so bad that we are stuck at the house. I would love to be able to show you how great Texas is. Also, if you get delayed in Dallas, there is a TGIF close to the gates that fly out to Longview and their cranberry margaritas are awesome. Hope your flights go good.

The woman that is so ready for tomorrow,
April


For more letters go visit Shortmama. It is always funny to read what people have to say to others.

Dear Family

My good friend ShortMama is starting a new thing and I thought I would join in. It is to write letters to whoever you feel needs them to get get out what you want to say. This week (a day late) I will be writing them to my family.

Dear Benny,

I totally understand that there is a tube leak at one of the plants and that it is your job to fix it BUT, do you think you could still do some of the stuff on my 'honey do' list? It usually takes only one, sometimes two, days to fix those leaks so if you could just do some of it Sunday, I would love you long time. The two most important things are to mow they yards and burn the trash. Then if you feel up to it, I would also love for you to get the trampoline out of the tree. That would be great!

Your wife that desperately wants this done,
Me

Dear Little Man,

I get that Toot can be a, well, a little toot sometimes but do ya think you could go a whole day with out coming to me every 5 minutes about it. 99% of the stuff she does you can handle yourself and the other 1%, just ignore her. She knows how easy it is to bug you and if you just calm down about it, I am sure she will stop. She really does love you and just wants to play with you. It is starting to drive me crazy when my biggest tattle tale is a 11 year old boy.

The woman who is tired of all the tattling,
Mama

Dear Toot,

As funny as it is sometimes (OK, most of the time to you) driving Little Man crazy is in turn driving me crazy. Do ya think ya could slack up a little bit? I know that it is your main job right now as a little sister but come on, it's really getting old. Besides, if you quit pissing him off, he might play with you more. Just a thought.

The woman who is still tired of all the tattling,
Mama

Dear Smiley,

If only one person actually pays attention to these letters, I hope it is you. Could you PLEASE stop pouring out the sugar, salt, pepper, coffee..... every time you get your hands on it?! It really makes a HUGE mess and I really don't like cleaning. That just really puts me in a bad mood and I don't want to be in a bad mood. While we are at it, do you think you could just stay out of the cabinets all together. I already had to put a lock on the fridge because of you feeding the cats all our ham and hot dogs (a bunch of times). I don't have enough locks to lock all the cabinets. Picking up a whole box of cereal AND mac and cheese was NO fun at all yesterday.

The woman who doesn't like all the extra cleaning I have had to do,
Mama


I love my family but if they could just do these small things for me, it would help out my life so much. I don't think I am asking for a lot so this shouldn't be hard, right?

Tuesday whatever's

I know a few of you do the Random Tuesday thing so I figured I would add to it.

• Little Man starts Jr High Monday. It seems just like yesterday when he was Smileys age. It won't be my weekend to have him so his step mom gets to take him to his first day. That sucks.
• Speaking Of Little Man going to Jr High, he decided to be in band and play the trumpet. Is it expensive to sound proof a room?
• I worked out yesterday and was surprised when I wasn't sore this morning. So, I am either in better shape than I though I was or I just did a wimpy work out. I'm going with that I am in better shape than I though.
• Smiley and Toot just about drove me crazy yesterday. They were in rare form for some reason. Somehow Smiley put a hole in Toots head and Toot spent the day torturing Little Man. Needless to say, they both took naps so I wouldn't go completely insane.
• Last night Benny and Little Man played a Sims game on the Wii. That is the MOST BORING THING TO WATCH. I watched them for about 3 hours and finally went to bed. It may be fun to play but I just can't handle watching that again.
• And lastly, if feels so good to have everything done. I have everything in order right now. Nothing to stress over just things to look forward to. The next few weekends are gonna be so good. This weekend will be just hanging with the family with no stress, the next one I will be going on a trip with my mom and the one after that Carrin is coming to see what is so wonderful about being in TX. Can't wait.

That's about it for now. For more randomness, go here.

No job for me

Well, I now have no reason to go find a job. Actually, I have a reason to NOT get a job. I don't like the reason though.
I got a call today saying that Toot and Smiley's school is shutting down for good. Around here, they have a pre-k at the public school but you have to be poor to go. Your only other option was the pre-school at one of the churches and since they are shutting the doors, my kids have no school to go to at all. Toot was so ready for school to start back up and Smiley was soooo excited to be going. It's going to break their hearts to learn they aren't going, especially Toots. She wants to see all her little friends so bad.
Silver lining, I don't have to magically come up with $450 in the next 2 weeks. Or school clothes.

They say it is so hard being poor but the poor get free food, free medical, and now (around here) an early start on their education. Pisses me off!

Too much sun.

As everyone already knows, Micheal Jackson died.

This got me thinking about something funny that happened. Not that death is funny but it reminded me of something funny.

When I was 15 we still lived in Ft Worth, TX. My mom did home health physical therapy on kids. During the summer, I would always go with her to help out. One kid quickly became one of favorites. Carlos was a 9 year old that had cerebral palsy and was super funny. Oh, and he was black (that becomes important in a minute). He was so funny and we could always joke around with him. Like when he would ask for a hug, I would say "sure, but don't slobber on me this time". He would laugh and I would get a slobbery hug (he couldn't help it). Then we would all laugh as he pointed out that he did, in fact, slobber on me.

One of the things we would do for therapy is I would sit in his wheel chair and he would push me down the road. My weight added to the resistance. He would tell everyone we saw that I was HIS girl.

One day, as we were getting ready to go outside for out stroll, Carlos said "I know how Micheal Jackson turned white!" Me and my mom just looked at each other knowing this had to be interesting. "How", we both asked. He said "He stayed out in the sun too long. LOOK! It's already happening to me!" At that point he showed us the palms of his hands and he was dead serious. We both about lost it and was laughing sooo hard. Guess he figured it worked the other way around for black folks.

I haven't thought about him in so long. I wonder how he is doing today. He would be about 22 years old now. I hope he is still as funny and loving life as much as he did back then.

To be the best...

MamaKat has her prompts up and I chose #2 today. What do you aspire to be?

This has been a topic of discussion for awhile around my house hold. What do I want to be when I grow up? The reason we have talked about it is because in just a few short years, all my kiddos will be in school full time. There really wouldn't be a reason for me to be home all day.

I came up with nothing. Oh, a lot of things got thrown around (real estate, physical therapist, accounting...) but nothing made me say "Yes, that is what I want to do for the rest of my life".

But, MamaKat isn't really asking what I want to do but rather what I aspire to be. Big difference I think.

That one is easy for me.

I aspire to be the best mom I can be for my kids. I want them to always feel they can come to me with anything. I want them to be comfortable enough with me that they feel they can tell me everything. I want them to not mind hugging me in public when they are grown. I want them to always be happy in this family no matter what else is going on. I want them to be happy with their life. I want them to always know that I love them no matter what. I want to teach them family values as I learned them. I believe I can be their friend AND still be their parent but I want them to understand why sometimes I can be their friend but other times I have to be the parent even if they don't like it. I want my children to be very well balanced, respectful, well behaved, loving, happy children and then adults. That can only happen if I continue to keep trying everyday to be the best mom I can be.

I also aspire to be the best wife I can be to Benny. I want him to always know that I love him with all my heart and soul. I want him to enjoy coming home after work and not dread it. I want for him to always be my best friend. I want him to feel comfortable enough with me that he can tell me everything. I want him to always be happy that he is my husband. I want to always be able to have fun with him and for him to always have fun with me. I want to have a marriage where it doesn't matter how much money we have, how many material things we have, or even how clean the house is because I want the love we have for each other to be what matters most. When we are done with our life hear on earth, I want the world to know that our life together was like a roller coaster. We had our ups and downs but the ride sure was a blast. In order for that to happen, I have to keep trying to be the best wife I can be.

Those are the two main things I aspire to be. For me, that is the two most important things because those four people are the most important people in my life. If I don't try to be my best then why should they?



On a side note, to read a really great post, go check out Amanda's post today. I really loved it and think you might too.

Happily Ever After

I have noticed that a lot of people don't like their children watching the Disney movies that involve the whole prince and princess thing. From what I have heard or read, they think that it gives children the wrong idea about life, men, and the way they should act. That is gives them a false sense of reality. That these princesses had to change to make the prince happy. That is their opinion.

I, on the other hand, think they are great. I couldn't wait until Toot was old enough to watch them with me. I do not think it gives her a false sense of reality. I think it shows her that you can have your own 'happily ever after'. This is my opinion.

I don't think you should change to make someone happy but sometimes you have to change to make yourself happy. My mom always said that you know you are with a good person when that person inspires you to be a better person.

If you choose to be with an ass then you are not going to have your 'happily ever after'. If you choose to be with someone that loves and respects you and you in turn love and respect them, then you can have your 'happily ever after'. It's all in the choices you make. I believe that 100%.

At some point in our lives, we just might need to be rescued. I always joke that Benny was my 'knight in shining armor that rode in on a white horse' (he drove a white mustang when we met). Not because he rescued me from a bad situation, I did that myself, but because he helped me heal from that bad situation. One night we were riding around and out of nowhere I said to him "You are my neosporin". He knew exactly what I meant with no explanation. What I meant was that when we met, I had a lot of open wounds. Yes, they would have healed without him but because of him, they healed faster and the scars are smaller. For that, I am blessed that I met him.

And there have been times when I have 'rescued' him. We love and respect each other and would 'rescue' each other no matter what or when.

Yes, we argue and yes we bitch at each other but at the end of the day we still love and respect each other with all our hearts. Without the bad times, we wouldn't appreciate the good ones. Are we perfect? No. Are we perfect for each other? Yes.

So yes, I do believe that you can have your 'happily ever after' and I never want any of my children to think otherwise. I tell them everyday that not only do I pray they get it but that they deserve it.

I'm NOT a baby!

That's what Smiley said to me yesterday. And I guess technically, he's not.

He will be 3 in August. He's not wearing diapers anymore. He never wore pull-ups. He can talk better than most kids his age (thanks to Toot). He feeds himself and can even cook popcorn by himself.

When he said that, Benny just looked at me and laughed. After I gave Benny a dirty look, I said to Smiley "You will ALWAYS be my baby boy!". He just laughed along with his Daddy and ran away.

Kinda made me sad. I don't have any babies anymore. I never will. That part doesn't bother me because I don't want anymore children. Trust me, three is plenty! And I really love sleeping through the night. And I REALLY LOVE not wiping shitty butts anymore.

But the truth is, they do grow up way to fast. In a blink of an eye they go from tiny babies that can't even hold their head up to crazy kids that run away when I try to clean their face. Then to 10 year olds that think they know everything. It all just happens way to fast but they will all always be my babies to me.

About an hour later, Smiley bumped his head on something. He came to me with his blanky, crawled up in bed with me, and cuddled about 10 minutes. I looked down at him and asked him if he was still my baby boy. He shook his head yes.

And then I looked at Benny and stuck my tongue out at him!

I called it!!!!

Back on Jan 12th (which BTW is also the day I found out I was pregnant with Toot back in 2004) I said we were going to get a boat. Well, hold my beer and watch this shit! Getting ready to go to the lake!He is so happy!Kids loved it too!Nothing like relaxing in the sun!!!! If you told me a year ago that I would be wearing a 2 piece I would have told you that you were insane!!!!!I had to drive it for awhile!

This is what we will be doing ALL weekend, hope yours is as good as ours!!!!

Randomness

Got a few things to say but nothing really good enough or long enough for a whole post so here is just some randomness for ya.

I was bored yesterday and joined Facebook. If we become friends on there, please don't mention my blog. Only my mom and Benny know about it in my family and one of my best friends and I really like it that way. I kinda like being able to vent or talk about them without pissing them all off. Thanks.

Spent the weekend with my in-laws. Without Benny (still working 7/12's). It went really good. We spent the day at the lake Sunday and had a great time. Toot got to go tubing and had a blast. That girl has no fear I tell ya. She kept telling my brother in law to go faster! Oh, and I got to really work on my tan. Been wearing my jeans so much because of working with the horses that my legs were still pretty white. Starting to match my arms better now!

I finally get Little Man back today. This will be the first time I have seen him since the day we went to court. I wonder what all he will say.

Found out that one of the girls my Mom works with is the sister of Little Man's stepmoms best friend. Did ya get all that? Anyway, could make things interesting. Little Man and his dad and stepmom hung out with them this weekend and she told my mom there was mention of the court thing but that she wasn't in the room for the conversation. Which brings me back to wondering what all they told Little Man and what all he will say to me today.

Well, that's about it. I hope everyone had a great weekend!

Arena

Friday we went and got the kids their own horse. She is so gentle and use to basically only kids riding her. Perfect horse for them.

Toot named her Arena which I thought was perfect for a horse.Oh ya, see that big ole belly she has on her? Yup, she is VERY pregnant! 2 for the price of one!

Lots to see

We had such a great time this past weekend. Friday we went to a gator park and Saturday we went to my brother-in-laws house. I was a little nervous about that one but my niece and her little baby were there so I had to go. It actually turned out really good. Anyway, here is a picture recap.

Feeding time!

She actually held it all by herself later but my camera and phone had gone dead.

He was so excited about this.

Of course I had to join in on the action.

He held it all by himself too later but of course, no camera or phone. :(

So cute

That camel bit him right after I took the picture. I laughed and he got mad at me.

The kangaroos were actually really soft.

The donkeys were Smileys favorite animal to feed.

Now Toot wants a mini horse. Me too!

Baby Blaize. So cute and sweet!

First Easter. She loved eating the plastic eggs.

She really wanted her egg back!

Time to clean up. She LOVED being in the bath.

Later on, Toot decided that when in Louisiana, do as the Cajuns. Bad picture but she is actually sucking the head of a crawfish and she LOVED it.

Lastly, I gotta say this. Carrin, you freakin rock! Thank you so much for my Birthday present. After the 10 minutes it took me to get into the box, I found this and used it right away!

TORNADOS

We had a F2 tornado go down our road Thursday night. Thankfully we were not home. Our house is OK but we will need a new roof. One tree in the front yard is spit so that will have to be cut down and removed and one tree in the back yard was completely uprooted. Benny's shop was torn up pretty good too.

The kids are really pissed about one thing though. And this one thing has caused many to stop and take pictures. Remember that tree with all the wisteria in it. The wisteria is gone but something new is added. Check it out.

I guess I wont be working out on that anytime soon. Funny thing, we have NO idea how to get it down and Benny wont be back home for over 4 weeks.

I would like to add that on the same night, Mena, Arkansas was hit with a F3 tornado and destroyed. Please say a little prayer for everyone affected by this horrible storm. 3 people lost their lives and so many lost their homes.

Oh, Benny did the sweetest thing and surprised me by pulling up at home yesterday. He had taken off work for my birthday!!! Best present ever.