Dear White Truck,

(I am reposting this for my letter post because it happened again yesterday but it was a red truck this time.)

Please do not stop in front of my house anymore.

I understand we live way out in the country and there is not a store for 10 whole minutes but please, just keep driving.

I know that sometimes children can not help themselves but the person that got out of you was no child.

My daughter was really concerned you had broke down until you then drove off. Then she was just wondering why you chose our driveway as a good "spot". She is 5 and already knows what is and isn't a good "spot" in a time of need. If you can see a house anywhere, it is not a good "spot" much less at the end of someones driveway.

In the future, about 10 seconds up the road is a good "spot". I suggest you try that one next time.

I hope you choose to take my advise because I fear next time, my dog just might show your passengers the same courtesy that she showed us. He has often thought a leg was a good "spot".

Sincerely,
The house where you stopped so that woman could pee

For more letters go visit ShortMama.

Hey everybody

I am stealing this meme from Carrin who stole it from Carty Party Of Three. I have had a week full of strep throat(me), stomach virus's(kids), and kidney stones(Benny). Needless to say, week from hell and you don't want the details. Trust me. Anyway, I will (I'M SO EXCITED!) be making a trip soon but I want to wait until all the details are ironed out before I tell ya. Don't ya hate it when people do that?! Anyway, since I don't want to tell you about the nastiness of this weekend or the details of my upcoming trip too soon, I'm doing this little meme. Enjoy.

1. What is in the back of your car right now? I have a pathfinder and in the back-n-the-back is 2 blankets and 2 pillows.

2. When was the last time you threw up? Thursday. I got choked on some food and threw up. Aren't you glad that was a question?!

3. What's your favorite curse word? The one I say most is SHIT!

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today? Benny, Carrin and Mom.

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Wishing I was still asleep. I was also feeding geese in Arkansas where we went camping.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Looking up the cost of flights. BTW, April 17th-19th is the cheapest I found! Hint hint!

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now? Hopefully sleeping.

8. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yes. Once where the women strip and a bunch where the men strip.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud? Night night, I love you sweety (to Toot).

10. What is the best ice cream flavor? Chocolate with peanut butter (this was Carrins answer). I gotta tell ya that I use to work at Baskin Robbins and I hated it when people ordered that shit. It is the hardest ice cream to scoop. Anyway, my favorite is either cookies-n-cream or mint chocolate chip.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Busch Light!

12. What are you wearing right now? A purple Mossy Oak wife beater and blue cammo fuzzy pj pants. They don't match for shit but they are sooooo comfy!

13. What was the last thing you ate? Beacon

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Ummmm, I don't think so. Oh wait, I just remembered something. Pink titty socks (what Benny calls them). That means socks that have the breast cancer ribbon on them.

15. When was the last time you ran? Ummm, I guess today when I was chasing the kids but I'm pretty sure I was actually just jogging. Does that count? Hell, screw it, it does to me.

16. What's the last sporting event you watched? The Superbowl. That's what Carrin said but I'm pretty sure that's the last one I watched too.

17. Is your TV on? Yes. It ALWAYS is. Even if we are not home (don't want the cats and dog to get bored). Right now, The Little Mermaid is on.

18. Who is the last person you emailed? Carrin

19. Ever go camping? Ya, we went this past weekend.

20. Do you have a tan? I was told I did the other day but I don't see it. I don't ever get a fake tan. By the second weekend of summer I will have a pretty nice tan though. Don't bitch at me about skin cancer. I know all the dangers of our all powerful sun.

21. Do you miss someone? Sure, who doesn't.

22. Favorite Holiday? Gonna have to go with Carrin on this one. Thanksgiving - No gifts to buy and all the food you can eat! My mom makes the BEST Thanksgiving meal and pecan pie. That is the only day she makes pie and it is the only chocolate, pecan, and pumpkin pie I eat ever!

23. If you had to eat the same meal everyday for the rest of your life, what would it be? Taco Bell!

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw? Only if I got it from a restaurant. BTW, it's not a soda, it's a coke. Even if it's a Dr. Pepper.

25. What did your last IM say? The only time I IM'd was when my phone messed up a couple of months ago and I don't remember what it said but it was to my mom.

26. Are you some one's best friend? YUP

27. What are you doing tomorrow? I gotta go buy dog food (somebody please remind me) and keep Smiley on track on this whole using the potty thing.

28. Where is your mom right now? I guessing asleep but by the time you are reading this, I bet she is at work.

29. Look to your left, what do you see? Toot sleeping on the couch right next to our bed.

30. What color is your watch? I don't wear one but when I did it was silver and gold.

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia? Koala bears. My mom loves them. Oh, and Crocodile Dundee.

32. Would you consider plastic surgery? Use to but not any more. I just can't imagine volunteering for surgery. That shit hurts!

33. What is your birthstone? Diamond

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive thru every time!

35.How many kids do you want? 3 is plenty! You can watch them ANY time you want!

36. Do you have a dog? 3

37. Last person you talked to on the phone? My mom.

38. Have you met anyone famous? The comedian, Gallagher.

39. Any plans today? I think I already answered that. It said tomorrow but technically today is tomorrow because I haven't gone to sleep yet and it's already tomorrow.

40. How many states have you lived in? 1 and only 1 and I don't plan on that ever changing but ya never know.

41. Ever go to college? Yup. TCC baby!

42. Where are you right now? In bed.

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? My cats. I know they know the difference between a litter box and a pile of dirty clothes dammit!

44. Last song listened to? Real Good Man By Tim McGraw. At least that is the last one I remember on the radio.

46. Are you allergic to anything? Benadryl! Which Benny bought me the other day when my allergies were kicking my ass. Thanks Babe!

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? Right now my boots. In the spring/summer/fall my flip flops.

48. Are you jealous of anyone? Not right now.

49. Is anyone jealous of you? I have know idea.

50. Where is your idea of a dream vacation? I don't know. I would love to vacation on some beautiful island but I really want to go to Ireland.

51. What time is it? 1:23am

52. Do any of your friends have children? Yup.

53. Do you eat healthy? Not usually.

54. What do you usually do during the day? Be a mom and blog.

55. Do you hate anyone right now? I don't hate. It's so not worth it.

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily? Never. I always say "Hey".

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 28

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags? About a million times. I grew up in Ft. Worth.

60. How did you get one of your scars? I had a lump removed out of my left booby when I was 19 years old.


I have no idea what #45 and #57 were because they were not on Carrins or Carty Party of three so don't think it's that I can't count, someone else can't.

DRINK DRANK DRUNK

There are many types of drunks. Let me break it down for ya.

Happy drunk - This person is just happy to be alive. Laughs at everything and has a good time no matter what happens.

Lovey drunk - This is the drunk that goes around tellin EVERYBODY that they love them OVER AND OVER AND OVER!

Cocky drunk - These are the guys that think they are the shit when drunk. Ya know, grow a foot and all the sudden have mega muscles. Oh ya, and a 10 inch.... One of the most annoying drunks if ya ask me.

Slutty drunk - These are the girls doing keg stands. Hate to admit but I have done one. Or two. But really, who's counting. These drunks are just as annoying as cocky drunks.

Flirty drunk - Not quite as bad as a slutty drunk. Just real friendly.

Sad drunk - These just suck!

Sentimental drunk - These remember all the stupid little sentimental things and dwell on them and cry and then dwell on them some more.

Angry drunk - These are the worst.

There is more but I'm tired of listing them.

Anyway, there is a point to all this.

My mom is a happy drunk. I vaguely remember my mom ever drinking when I was growing up. I remember her drinking at the lake but never anywhere else. That is until I turned 21. Then it was my goal to get her drunk.

On my 21st birthday I went to Billy Bobs in Ft. Worth Texas and hung out with my folks. They are really that cool. We had a ball. Ever since then, she's been a little lush. LOL! Right now she saying "WHAT!" I'm kidding, she is not a lush. BUT, she does have a kegorator in her house that always has a keg in it. Just saying. Also, her and my dad went to Nashville TN one year and I got a call saying that they had just left Coyote Ugly where she had just danced on the bar. I wish I had been there. My mom ROCKS!

Anyway, since my 21st birthday I have seen her drunk and got drunk right along with her. She always says she wasn't the next day but I know better. There is another day I wish soooo bad I had been there to witness what happened.

Her and my dad were out on the boat. Now, they have a pontoon boat with a potty. Well, my dad was making bloody mary's and she was tossin em back I guess. I don't know where the hell I was because my brother in law was there too. We were always either with them or my folks. Anyway, doesn't matter. I get a phone call from my dad and he is laughing his ass off.

I immediately told Benny they were drunk (not the first time I got a phone call like this). Well Mom had decided she needed to pee and I guess this day she was too good for the potty. She grabbed the rails on the boat and proceeded to attempt to pee over the side. Now this was still early spring and she was wearing jeans that are now around her ankles. Guess what happened next.

Yup, she fell in! This is when I get the call. Dad had to call me before helping her out of the water. Sweet, ain't he.

Luckily, she is a very happy drunk and laughed about the whole thing. Well, except the part where her phone got fried. I still laugh just imagining her trying to pull up her jeans in the cold water while drunk. I'd pay good money to see that.



So what kinda drunk are you? I'm a happy, lovey, flirty, sentimental drunk. It all depends on what I am drinking and who I am with.

Have a great weekend.

I'M GETTIN DRUNK!!!!!

I don't know....

shit about potty training. No pun intended! I have successfully potty trained two children but apparently that doesn't mean I know what I am doing.

With Little Man, he was obsessed with Toy Story so I bought Toy Story underwear and threatened to throw them away. After one pair got tossed (then later retrieved) in the trash, he knew I meant business. TaDa! He was potty trained at 26 months.

With Toot, I tried the same trick (with princess/Elmo panties) but it didn't work as well. She didn't care that I would throw them away. She became potty trained at 28 months when SHE was ready.

I don't have the energy to ask 50 million times a day "Do you need to go peepee?" so I don't. I also don't like the wear panties during the day and diapers at night thing. It just seemed it would have confused me when I was 2 so why confuse the kids more than they already are so we waited till they woke up with dry diapers to start the process. And they didn't run around naked and pee everywhere. They either kept their diaper on or wore panties/underwear and tried to make it in time. The nakedness came after potty training was mastered. Thank goodness!

With Smiley, I gotta whole other situation on my hands. He sometimes makes it threw the night completely dry and other nights, not so much. He will not watch TV at all so no cool underwear to obsess over. I know, that's probably a good thing, but not when I need a shower or need to bribe him with cool undies. He loves to be naked and will take his diaper off and pee on the floor/couch/bed/TABLE. He has sat on the "potty" 20 million times and I have never seen him pee in it much less anything else. He only goes and sits on it when I tell him we need to put another diaper on him. Then he's all "I GOTTA GO PEE!!!" and runs to the bathroom. I'm outta ideas. I'm sure this is nothing compared to what we will go threw later on in life with him but I'd like to get this down first.

Any suggestions. I need all the help I can get. I have never used a little potty chair. I just bought the thing you set on the big potty. Do you think it would help for him to have his OWN chair?

HELP PLEASE!!