Today's the day

Well, the time has finally come. I have never had two different emotions flowing threw me so strong before and it's a little weird. On one hand I am soooo happy but on the other I am soooo sad. I have just been trying to ignore the sad and focus on the happy but today is making that hard because today everything changes.

Back in June my ex husband took me to court to have our custody switched with Little Man. I had Little Man 55% of the time and he had 45%. I agreed to it because that is what Little Man wanted. I totally understand an 11 year old boy wanting to spend more time with his father so I truly didn't take it personal. My ex travels a lot so Little Man felt this was the way to actually get to see his dad more. I get it.

When all this happened, my ex left the next month (and it was summer) so nothing really changed. It really didn't feel like anything had changed at all. When he is out of town for an extended amount of time Little Man obviously is at home with me. My ex has been gone since July because he is in the military. It has been very hard on Little Man. He couldn't call his dad, go see his dad, or even call him dad when they did get to talk on the phone or via email. They are VERY close so this affected him in a huge way.

Little Man's dad is finally home. My son finally gets to hug his dad after 7 months. I gave up my weekend so he could go be with his dad. I am soooooo happy for Little Man. I am so excited for him. I know he will be floating on cloud nine for a while. He will feel like every parent wants their child to feel, nothing but pure happiness.

But, I also feel so sad because what happened in June will now take effect. I feel sad for me and sad for Toot and Smiley. Toot and Smiley hate it when Little Man is not home and always ask when he will be home. Toot actually says all the time "I am so sad when Bubba isn't here". They don't understand why he is not home some weekends. Now, he will only be home one night during the week and 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends. Luckily those weekends are Fri night, Sat night and Sun night instead of just Fri and Sat night. It's going to be weird not having him here most of the week. Weird and sad and heartbreaking for me.

I have put on my happy face for Little Man and have not let him see me sad but he's a smart cookie. He has asked me about 50 times this week if I am ok with it all. I tell him that I am ok and that I am so happy that he is getting his dad back. The last time he asked he just looked at me and said "Are you sure?". I knew he wasn't believing me so I just said that it would be weird and that it would take me some time getting use to it. He is a sweety and said "Well, you do get more weekends so you get me for the fun times now.". I hate that he feels the need to comfort me.

I held it together great this morning while he was getting ready for school but as soon as him and Benny left, I had myself a little cry. Now, I am just trying to imagine the look on his face when he sees his dad for the first time in a long time. I have seen that face before (his dad left for 9 months when he was a lot younger) and it makes me happy.

Update on the date

We didn't do date night. We all decided to do it this coming weekend when we aren't so broke. Instead we hung out with Benny's brothers house and had a blast watching football all weekend. Really sucks that the Cowboys got their asses handed to them but I was happy about the Jets winning.

No, I am not a Jets fan. That was actually the first game of theirs I actually watched. Benny and I have a bet going. I bet him that the Jets will make it to the superbowl. Not that they will win but that they make it to the game. They are such the under dogs and he was convinced the Chargers would stomp them so he took the bet. Now I just need them to beat the Colts! Wish me luck. If they win, I get a FULL body massage and he has to keep his clothes on so he actually finishes the massage. I'm talking head to toe!!!

Sunday we brought my niece home with us and she spent the night and then she got to ride a horse for the first time. She did really good. I'd show ya a pic except for some reason I can't get them from my phone to computer right now.

Anyway, we are doing date night this coming Friday. Still have no idea what we will do but at least now we have some money to spend.

HELP!!!

Benny gets a 3 day weekend. WOOHOO! I love that his job works 4 days a week/10 hours a day instead of the normal 5/8's. So I get him for 3 days all to myself with the two little ones of course.

Except we wont have the two little ones Saturday night! My folks have agreed to let us have a date night every month and Saturday is the day!

There is one slight problem though and where I could use a little of your help. We are broke. Funny how bills and food and gas can do that to ya. Ok, not funny but life. So, we got about $20 to use for our date night so it's time to get creative. That's where you come in to play. What are some good things we could do on $20 without kids?

Thinking the movies because I don't think we have EVER gone to the movies without a kid. I already had Little Man when we got together so we always took him. Actually, the first couple of years we were together we (Benny and I) never even went to the movies together at all. It always worked out where either he took Little Man or I did but we never all 3 went. I don't know why. I don't even know what we would go see. Guess I need to see what's playing.

So, what else would be a great idea on limited funds. I know I have some creative readers so let the ideas poor in!!!

Also, gotta tell you about a funny conversation I had with Benny.
First, I gotta tell ya that my brain sometimes thinks really random stuff that has nothing to do with what we are talking about. The smallest thing can get my brain going in a totally different direction.
Anyway, we were sitting in bed watching football (I think) the other day and a commercial for Private Practice came on. That got us talking about how pretty Kate Walsh is. He asked if they still showed the Cadillac commercial that she was on. I told him I didn't think so but that you can look it up on youtube. While we were having this conversation I was digging in my purse for something and ran across Toots blue ribbon from her rodeo debut. So out of no where I said "You need to nail her......cork board back together so I can hang her stuff up". I paused because of something on TV and when I finished the sentence I looked at him and he looks SOOOOO surprised and confused.

Benny: "WHAT?!"
Now I am confused.
Me: "The corner came unnailed and I need you to fix it."
Him: (now even more confused) "WHAT?!"
Me: "Toots cork board. You need to fix it."
Him: "OHHHHH, I just thought you told me I needed to nail Kate Walsh!"
Then we just both cracked up and I told him if he ever had the opportunity to be my guest.

I guess the pause in my sentence threw him off and I was confused because in my head, I had totally switched subject and didn't think of how it would sound. He is usually really good at keeping up with me. Maybe he just heard what he wanted to hear!!!

TMI Tuesday but 2 days late!

So I haven't had much to say so I thought I would join in on TMI Tuesdays. Never done it before and I am late because I am doing it on Thursday so I hope they forgive me!

So here it goes:
Would you rather...

1: Have eyes that will always smile or a voice that makes people calm?
Eyes. I always notice peoples eyes way before their voice. Besides, sometimes people don't need to be calmed down. Sometimes they need to just let it all out!

2: Have an affair and your partner catches you or your partner have an affair and you catch him/her?
Hard one. I'm going with my partner have an affair that way I have a reason to kick his ass and not the other way around.

3: Have better sex or more money?
More money for sure!!! Better sex is easy but more money isn't most of the time. If more money was as easy as better sex we would all be rich!

4: Be able to read every one's mind all the time or always know the future?
Totally read every ones mind all the time. Don't want to know the future at all because then what would be the fun in living?

5: Your partner have sex with someone else or fall in love with someone else?
Have sex because I think I might somehow be able to get over that but if he fell in love with someone, you can't get over that. At least I couldn't!

Bonus (as in optional):
What one thing, big or small, would you change in your life if granted one wish by a lamp bound genie? Why?
This may seem funny but I would have chose for us to stay in our old house instead of moving to this one. Main reason is because our nearest neighbor was a mile away instead of 100 yards away. I like solitude!

Better late than never....

End of year Q & A
1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Bought a boat. And horses. That was much fun.



2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I think I did this one pretty good. Next one is to be a better person, mom and wife.



3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My SIL once again had a baby. A little girl on 12/28/09. Cali Jean .... Love her name!!!!!



4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully no.


5. What countries did you visit?
Same answer. None. One day I would love to go to Ireland.


6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
More patience with my hubby and kids.



7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
When Little man started Jr High. My Little Man is growing up!!



8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being a better wife and mom.



9. What was your biggest failure?
Being a house cleaner!


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Thankfully no!!



11. What was the best thing you bought?
Thats a toss up. Love our horses but also love out boat!



12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mine!!! For keeping my mouth shut!!!! HEHE!!!!



13. Whose behavior made you appalled?
My niece and my brothers. Shit happens!



14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills!


15. What did you get really, really excited about?
Toot riding the knee board by herself!!!!!



16. What songs will always remind you of 2009?
Don't have one.


17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a)Happier or sadder?
Same
b) Skinnier or fatter?
Fatter

c) Richer or poorer?
About the same. Which aint good!


18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Saved more money.


19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Stress over stuff.



20. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Just fell deeper in love with Hubby. Cheesy, I know!


21. How many one-night stands?
Why even ask? I am married!


22. What was your favorite TV program?
Still Bones!


23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't hate. It's not good for the soul.



24. What was the best book you read?
I don't even remember. Probably the Twilight series. Did i read anything else? Oh ya, The Womens Murder Club series. Totally forgot until I read Carrins again, "I hope they serve beer in hell" by Tucker Max. It was funny, vulgar and a fast read. She sent that to me and it was awesome!!!!



25. What did you ask for and get?
I didn't ask for anything this year but Benny and I got a new 46 in flat screen!



27. What did you want and not get?
I don't want for much so I can't think of anything.



28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Have know idea


29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Benny worked and I drank with the camper neighbor I think. Don't really remember. I turned 28! So old, I know!!! lol


30. What's one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Same. Winning the lottery and being debt free and allowing my parents to be debt free. I guess I should have at least bought a lottery ticket if I wanted that to happen.



31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
It's the same.
I'm a total t-shirt and jeans kinda girl with boots (and a zip up hoodie on the cold days). In the summer heat it was shorts and t-shirts with flip-flops.



32. What kept you sane?
Carrin, Amanda and Clint!!!!



33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Still the same.
I have a total crush on David Boreanaz (Seeley Booth from Bones).


34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Not gonna go there. If you have been reading my blog, you know.


35. Who did you miss?
Little Man. Every summer when he spends a month with his dad is hell on me.


36. Who were the best new people you met?
I got to meet Carrin in person and that was cool as shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!


37. What do you look forward to in 2010?
Being really happy with life, Carrins wedding and hopefully meeting Amanda in person.



38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009?
REALLY enjoy life!!!!!!!!!!!!



39. What song lyrics best sum up 2009 for you?
Don't have any.

For me? Not so much.

So, how do you feel about plastic surgery? I was all for it FOR ME until I actually had to have a surgery. Now, I can not imagine doing an elective surgery. I wanted a boob lift because as us moms know, kids kill your boobs.

But then I had to have a lump removed from my boob. It hurt. It hurt bad. And it was only a 2 inch incision! I can't even imagine electing to have someone cut even more on me. Sound crazy to me. But.....

I have 2 sister in laws, a good friend, and a BEST friend that have had boob jobs.

2 of those 4 had problems. Bad problems. That's 50%!!!! BUT, ALL said they would do it all over again!!!!! And, the 2 that didn't have problems, you wouldn't know they had a 'boob job' unless they told you because the doc did that good of a job. I wouldn't have known except one I knew before and the other told me. Dude, they are hot with or without them BTW!

I don't get it just because I can't handle pain but I have had big boobs since 6th grade so who am I to judge. And I don't. I get why they want them. They ROCK! But I wont ever 'lift' mine because of the pain of surgery. That is the only reason. If not for the pain, I would be all for it!!!!

What I don't get it is the face lift/botox thing...... I know I have wrinkles (at 28) and I think I have earned every one of them. I don't get the folks that try to look like a Barbie. And I'm not talking about folks with BDI. It's the folks that want to be prettier but yet are already pretty but have lots of money to blow.

Every woman I know that had some kind of fix in my opinion didn't need it. And they didn't think they needed it, but wanted it. I think nothing less or more of them. Some are my sisters, best friends, and some I didn't know how they looked before. And, I think, if it makes you feel better about yourself and you can deal with the pain then go for it!!!! I just want folks to do it for the right reason, for them and not for societies reasons.

If ya want it, go for it but please make sure you have a good doc. You sure as hell don't want to end up looking worse or die! It does happen!!!!

So, how do you feel about it?

Just my luck

Unless you have been living under a rock you know that it is cold. Cold basically EVERYWHERE! Our low tonight is suppose to be 13 degrees with a wind chill below zero. THAT'S WAY TO COLD FOR ME! That's one reason I live in Texas. It's not suppose to do that!

Down her in the south, we don't do cold so well and neither do our animals. For instance, all the schools over in Shreveport, LA closed today because it might snow and ice over (it didn't). Benny's office told him not to go to the office because is might ice over (still didn't). He still had to work but just a lot closer to home. Like 15 miles away which is good.

This morning our electricity went out at 4:45am. We sleep with the tv on so I woke up right when it happened. I jumped up and looked outside. No ice or snow. Walked to another window and my neighbor did have her electricity. WTF?! So I called it in to the electric company. Benny got ready in the dark as I laid there pissed that I didn't have a heater working. At 5:30 the electric company showed up and called from the driveway to tell me to get my dogs. Guess the truck scared the shit out of my boxer. Then I had to let the guy in the pasture to get to the transformer. It was sooooo cold. I stood there while he worked. My cig wouldn't even stay lit because it was so cold and windy. By 6:30am we have electricity and I am back in bed.

At 11am Benny calls and says we have to get some big round bails of hay to block the wind off of our horses. This kind of cold and baby animals don't go good together. Some folks have already lost some cows because of freezing to death and seeins how we have a 3 month old baby horse, we gotta do something fast. My dad spent most of the morning looking for someone with hay and when he finally did find some, they of course jacked up the price. Asshats!

So, now I am ready for summer because this shit just sucks!

Thank God!

The holidays are over and life is finally back to normal. We are at home just relaxing and watching a little (actually a lot) of football today. That usually what we do on Sundays. Yesterday I spent the day taking down all the Christmas stuff, cleaning the house and burning the tree.

I am so glad we are now back to normal. I love the holidays but sometimes enough is enough and I just can't wait for it to be over. Now, it I could just get my account back in order, life will be great!!! Holidays can be a killer!

My kids crack me up. This morning I have been watching them play. I love to do that. Anyway, Smiley LOVES anything with 4 wheels. He got every size vehicle for Christmas from hot wheels to a tractor he can ride. This morning he has been lining up his hot wheels and running over them with a big monster truck he got. Then he turns at me and smiles real big while winking at me. Thinking his daddy needs to take him to a monster truck thing. He'd love it.

Hope everyone has a great day!

My new niece!

Miss Cali was born on the 28th and her daddy (my big brother) and big brother Jase are so wrapped already!

Grandma and Grandpa might be too!!!!!!

Another year gone

It's new years eve. Wanna know what we are gonna do tonight? Absolutely NOTHING at all. I have started a fire in the fire place, the kids are relaxing in their room and now all we need is Benny to get home from work. We are tired and just want to chill. Smiley asked me where LazyTown was and I told him it was here tonight! My kids don't like fireworks anyway so they wont miss that part of it. Freaks them out.

Anyway, this year has gone by pretty fast. Lots of shit happened. It's pretty cool having this blog because I can go back and remember all the fun times we had.

I guess my resolution is to just be a better person, wife and mother. Can't really go wrong with that one!

Hope everyone has wonderful night and year.