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Dec 9, 2008

Need some help!

Edit at bottom! There is a giveaway you gotta check out!

Yup, root canal Monday. Sounds like fun. I can't wait! Note the sarcasm.

Anywaaay, I got Little Man back finally. It seems like he's been gone forever while I tried to get everyone healthy. So he is home and all is well in our household. I love him so much and missed him like crazy. But, he has a problem and I don't know how to fix it. And that is killing me.

Basically, we have completely different personalities. I have realized Toot is just like me and we can talk forever but with Little Man, it's kinda forced. This makes me sad but I don't know what to do about it.

Here is the problem. There is a kid (we will call him C) at school that is being an ass to him. Little Man really wears his heart on his sleeve and always thinks people are mad at him. If I say "Hey, don't do... whatever he's doing at the time" he always asks if he's in trouble or if I'm mad. EVERYTIME. That drives me crazy. Anyway, back to C. Little Man gets his feelings hurt so easy. I don't know what to say to him about it. C is a little shit but isn't hitting, threatening, or even calling him names. Just being real annoying. He's like that with everyone. I want to tell Little Man to just ignore him and not worry about it but he wont. I have talked to the mother and this kid gets in major trouble for this but keeps doing it. (She is a friend of mine.) I told Little Man that C had a REALLY hard life (biological parents are crack heads) until he was 5 and my friend adopted him (which Little Man already knows all about) and that the kid just doesn't quite know how to treat others and to just ignore him. I guess that was the wrong thing to say too because it didn't seem to help. But when Little Man is mean to Toot or Smiley (for no reason, he's moody) I always ask him "How would you like it if they treated you that way?" That way, he knows everyone is mean sometimes.

When Toot has problems with people being mean, I can just say "Ahh, who needs them. Make another friend that is nice." and it works. She is like me. 'If ya don't like me, go away. I don't need ya.' She blows it off and she's fine. We are so much alike, it kinda scares me. If Toot or Little Man is mean to Smiley, he just walks away and doesn't give it a second thought.

Hubby is the same way. If someone doesn't like him, screw them. Not his loss. But I can't seem to get Little Man to understand this. He wants to please them all and doesn't understand why he can't. I feel so bad for him but don't know how to handle it. I don't know what to say or do to make it better other than what I have already tried. I've said a lot "We can't please everyone and everyone is not going to like us. Some kids are just jerks." I have never told him to 'just get over it'. I am very compassionate and let him vent about it, I just don't know what to say.

So, does anyone have any advise? I know I can't stop C from being such a jerk, I just wish Little Man could handle it.

Edit:

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8 comments:

Anonymous said...

We've already spoken of this.

But why do you have to call him C? I feel like I'm bullying your kid.

Unknown said...

wow I dont wanna give advice because I would be at the school and raisin hell, especially since talking to the parent doesn't seem to work...
maybe you and your friend could get the boys together for a sit down heart to heart kinda thing where your lil guy explains to C how he makes him feel etc...and then you and your friend let the boys know this wount be tolerated...I dunno

It's so hard when we see this happen and we feel helpless
(((HUGS))) to you

Sera said...

I don't have any great advice for you. I'm just sorry. It's so interesting how siblings are just so different.

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

My two kids are so very different too, so I know how you feel. And sometimes I just can't relate to my stepson. It's hard, I know! Sorry i don't have any great advice, but basically I would just say keep trying to talk to him in your own way and don't give up that someday you will be able to communicate better!

Jill said...

No advice on this one.. sounds like hes a sensitive little guy.. he'll find a girl that appreciates this characteristic in him later!

PS I like your little play list

Anonymous said...

What a great mom you are! Teaching compassion...wish more parents did that...


Ignoring didn't work, huh? Maybe the bully needs a good dose of bullying......

Kmommy said...

My advice would be exactly what you have done and said. I think you are doing the right thing, Little Man just needs to learn how to ignore that stuff. For some its a very difficult lesson. But he will learn it someday.

Carrin said...

I think we live in a parallel universe. I have the same exact situation. My son is such a push over. He is always doing what other people want him too and doesn't stick up for himself because he doesn't want anyone to be mad at him. Whenever I holler at him (which is very rare) the first thing he asks is "how long am I grounded for?" He has never been grounded but he has that fear.
He is completely different from myself. I'm like you - like me or get out.