TMM's Slightly Inappropriate And Fully Nosey MeMe

I was suppose to make up a meme but I was out of town all weekend and I'm tired so I am just stealing TMM's. I'll post about the trip tomorrow. It was CRAZY!! Of course there was a lot of drama cause we went to my mil's and my niece has turned into an idiot lately.

Anyway, back to the meme TMM made up.

1. Have you ever skipped school?
Yep. As long as I made straight A's, my Mom was usually cool with it.

2. What is your favorite naughty word?
The one I say the most is Dammit but actual favorite is Fucktard.

3. Have you ever been arrested?
Yep. DWI. Charges were dropped because it was totally bogus. I had a couple of beers like 3 hours earlier and the cop wouldn't tell me what my BAC levels were. This was 7 years ago.

4. Do you and your spouse have a code that you use when you want sex?
Ya, it's called going to bed.

5. Do you have special names for....ahem...you know, either cute ones that you have your kids use or nasty ones that you and your spouse use?
Benny's has a name, but I didn't name it. I don't know who did.
The kids say hiney and and Little Man calls his stuff peanuts. Always has.

6. How many drinks does it take to get you sloshed?
Beer, at least 6. Shots, umm, Sat night I think I has 3 shots and I don't know how many beers but it did the job.

7. Do you always wash your hands after you go potty or are you one of those gross people who comes out of the toilet in a public restroom and fixes their hair then leaves without washing?
Always wash even though I don't piss on myself. In public restrooms I don't even flush with my hands, I use my foot, but I still always wash.

8. When was the last time you played the clitar, dialed 9 on a rotary phone or spanked your monkey?
We celebrated our anniversary Sat night so then with Benny's help.

9. What's your favorite smell that others would consider weird?
Gasoline, but I'm sensing that's not to weird now. I dated a guy once that loved the smell of my hair right after I bleached it. That's weird to me.

10. What's your favorite adult beverage?
Busch Light. Also, tequila, but I only drink it on RARE occasions because I always get naked. Doesn't really matter where I am or who is around.

11. Favorite old school cartoon?
Tom and Jerry. I LOVE THEM. My dad actually has a Tom and Jerry comic from way back in the day that will be mine one day.

12. If you won the lottery what is the first thing you would do with the money? (If you say donate to charity you're a fucken liar. I said the FIRST thing you'd do.)
Build a log cabin and buy all the toys we want.

13. Have you ever fed a dog peanut butter just to see what would happen?
Yep. Also, my brother once gave our dog a jalapeno and that was pretty funny too. He licked the carpet for a while. And don't tell me how mean that is. We were kids and it was funny as hell.

14. Favorite blond joke?
How do you know when a blond is having a bad day? She has a tampon behind her ear and can't find her pencil.

15. Have you ever undressed Barbie and Ken and made them do it?
Yep. Really, who didn't?

16. Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?
Glad you answered that one or I would have looked myself.

17. Shittiest car you've ever had?
A green mit. mirage. The alternator was put in crooked so the belt always came off. I was a master at putting it back on. You would have thought that I would just have the alternator fixed but I didn't.

18. Most risque place you've ever done it?
While Benny was driving down the road. We are smart like that.

19. Most old embarrassing ass song that you just LOVE no matter what anyone thinks?
I'm not embarrassed but I love Green Day. The Dookie album.

20. Ever puked out a car window?
I've been told I have but I don't remember doing it. It was a tequila night.

21. Should I let D get an alpaca?
Isn't that awesome that D wants my permission. I say go for it! But you really should just worry about getting C's permission.

Ok, that was fun. Now head on over to TMM's place to read her answers and to see other peoples meme's. BTW, what the hell does that stand for? Meme?