What to do

I found out last week that my ex that is in prison, will be released on May 31st. You can read this post if you don't know what I am talking about. He was suppose to be in until 2012 but because of good behavior (and I'm sure crowded prisons) he is getting out early. He will be out on parole so he will have to check in with a parole officer until 2012. I don't think he can be good that long and will end up back in prison. I really don't think he will be able to piss clean for that long.

Here is where I am lost on what to do. I can write a letter protesting his release and ask that if he is released, he be released to a different county and not allowed to have contact with me, my family, or my friends. But here is the problem. He is not in prison because of what he did to me. It's really hard to prove stuff that's my word against his EVEN though I was covered in bruises. I know, pretty shitty huh. Anyway, if I write a letter and he does get released, then he will know I wrote the letter and be pissed at me for trying to keep him in there and I will be on his mind the minute he walks out.

I just want to put this all behind me. I don't want to have to think about it. I don't want to have to wonder if he is out and pissed at me. Not that I would normally care if someone was pissed at me but he's crazy. I don't want anymore bullets flying at my house. I live in a different house that is really hard to find now.

I don't know what I will do. I think I have about a week or two to make my decision. Benny doesn't think I should because he is so tired of this all too. We've been married for 6 years and we are still having to think about my ex. Is whats weird is that when I wrote that post the other day if was because I had a dream he was released. Then a couple of days later, I got the letter saying he would be. I actually had the dream the night that they made the decision to release him. I have received a letter every 6 months for the last two and a half years updating me on his status. I never think about him until I get that letter. We are tired of it.

What do yall think I should do?

And to end on a funny note, I gotta tell you what happened last night.

Benny, Smiley, and me were laying in bed watching a movie. Smiley has been using the potty as long as it is in the same room as him. So, the potty was in our room at the time.
He jumps up and yells "I gotta pee! Can't pee in the bed!"
Benny said, "That's right, no peeing in the bed."
Smiley then can't get the lid open on his potty and says "I'll just pee in my truck!" (It's a big Tonka dump truck that was right next to his potty.)
Benny and me jump up yelling "NO! Pee in the potty!!!!"
Benny made it to the potty before me and opened it up.
Smiley was successful.
High fives all around as I laid there under my blankets laughing my ass off. Crazy kid!